When the birthday hits differently

We write the 13th of June, 2022. Another year, another birthday. But this one hits a lot differently. (I started out the day really promising, writing that first line early in the morning. Here I am at 3PM adding this to it, haha)

(and here I am adding stuff again at 4:30PM)

Anyways, today has a totally different feel to it because this birthday – or the year that has passed – feels like I have taken a step or two back. Perhaps not in terms of work, no, I was able to continue working somewhat successfully and effectively. But perhaps on a personal note and perhaps even on a health note as well.

See, my journey with tinnitus actually started 12 days prior my birthday last year. But if there’s anything that’s been consistent, it’s this. My tinnitus is still with me ever since the 1st of June, 2021. I wonder what ailment, if any, will join in on the fun in the coming days, weeks, months, years ahead. Hopefully my body can bounce back.

I probably got what I asked for last year when I said: It’s going to be an uphill battle now, though I have reached the peak of my years. The countdown begins. Another 30 years to come. I hope.

Because that’s exactly how this period has felt like.

But let’s start with something on a high note, shall we?

While I departed Outsourced Doers on a rather sour note last year (again, not because of management but because of muggles), I have since returned to the company that welcomed me with open arms in 2020.

I retained the team that I left, only that it had grown around 3-4 times since. Luckily, majority of the OG team along with other colleagues in the business that I have made an acquaintance with already, were were around in the team. I am forever thankful that my former manager pushed for me to be accepted back in the company again. With that said, I am working on a similar capacity as previously, only on a slightly more strategic note, now as a full fledged manager. Our team has been able to meet in person as well, and I was able to mingle, interact, and exchange ideas with fellow executives. Something that I haven’t had experienced ever since. It has been 100% remote for me, most of the time. And while work for our workforce in general is 100% remote, I find it really great to have a change of view from my work desk every couple of months to see the exec team.

Here’s my current view by the way:

Featuring my Asus 1080P monitor, Xiamo Mi P1 TV 4K UHD TV, both connected to my M1 Mac mini, M1 Macbook Pro, ROG Strix TKL, and a Tecware Elite mouse

Back to my beloved OD Training, Quality, and Allocation Team.

Yes, I am extremely happy that I’ve been given the opportunity to lead and manage such an amazing and dynamic team once more. My primary focus of course has been the BAU of the training team and the improvements/enhancements thereof but I was also given the responsibility of taking care of Quality and Allocation as well.

When it comes to Allocation, I am glad that the person who I left in the role prior to leaving truly succeeded in it. She didn’t hit the ground running, she shook the ground to its core and then ran away with it all.

And then we have Quality. Admittedly, quality could have received a bit more love from me throughout the early goings of my return to OD. Yet I was so laser focused to ensure that Training happens day in and day out. Also, I had a bit of struggle gathering the entire team together because they are working on opposing shifts. As one team is about the wrap up, the other is just getting started. And that energy is just something different… It’s just not there, most of the time. Luckily, Quality will be sitting with one of my colleagues soon, someone who probably has a better idea what to do with it and how to improve it. I must give in that my expertise lie more towards digital marketing and the bespoke training that we provide our doers.
Here now a wrap up in other aspects of my life (which was actually originally written at the beginning of the year for my year ender post)

GAMES

As usual, not much progress has come about in terms of gaming. Majority of the time was spent playing Mobile Legends, in that game, for over half a year now, I have been maining Beatrix. I have a win rate with her of around 90% across all accounts that I have played her with, amounting to over 500 games played. Not bad, right? One of my goals for this year is to reach Mythical Glory in Mobile Legends. I also aim to reach division 1 in FIFA 22. I was able to reach division 1 in FIFA 21 earlier in 2021 as well. So, I’m excited for that. And no, I did not end up playing FIFA 22 on rank.

In terms of full blown RPGs that I have played this year, I have touched a bit on Pokemon BDSP but I haven’t finished it yet. There was also a bit of fun with rogue-likes like Slay The Spire. But the one thing that really got me this year was Ghost of Tsushima. It was actually a late 2021 purchase, just weeks before Christmas. But I am happy to say that I have almost 100% the game on Hard mode. I’ll probably be playing it on New Game+ at some point, but I am just happy to have almost 100-ed the game and rolled the credits in it. As it seems, I’m finishing one whole game each year! But seriously, GoT is such an amazing game. Sure, it did feel repetitive at some point, but all of the minor and major side quests were absolutely amazing. I will probably also have to play Iki Island as well. That should be fun too. Before that though, I’ll be jumping on to another game. And yep, I did finish Iki Island in Ghost of Tsushima.

Here are some new gaming additions for this year:

  • Pokemon Brilliant Diamond & Shining Pearl
  • Red Dead Redemption 2
  • FIFA 22
  • Ghost of Tsushima: Director’s Cut
  • Breath of the Wild
  • Bravely Default II
  • Slay the Spire
  • Monster Hunter Rise (sold this one)
  • Luigi’s Mansion 3
  • Pokemon Legend’s Arceus
  • Horizon: Forbidden West
  • Bravely Default 2
  • Red Dead Redemption 2
  • Breath of the Wild (repurchased!)
  • Mobile Legend Expenses at around 8,000
  • FIFA 22
  • Divinity: Original Sin 2
  • Civ 6

Some other crazy gaming purchases:

  • Fcking Expensive Skins in Mobile Legends
    • Master Yoda Skin (3.8k)
    • Darth Vader Skin (3k)
    • Fanny Anime Skin (3k, I really wanted the Layla one)

Games that got completed in 2021:

Ghost of Tsushima: Director’s Cut

Games that got completed in 2022:

Horizon: Forbidden West
Pokemon Legends: Arceus

OTHER EXPENSES since I last tallied

  • Over 120,000 in FoodPanda & GrabFood for 2021 and half of 2022
  • Tecware B68 Keyboard (used by Theya)
  • ROG Strix TKL (one I currently use)
  • Logitech Pebble Mice (both Theya and I have one, mine in black, hers in Pink)
  • iPad 4 Blue (traded for an iPhone 12 Purple)
  • iPad 4 Pink (still going strong!)
  • M1 Macbook Pro (my other work computer for when I’m out and away)
  • iPhone SE 2020 (my first iPhone after 3 years? It’s now with my sister in Cebu)
  • iPhone 12 Pro Max 256GB (sold, bought the item below for it)
  • Galaxy S21 Ultra (sold, used the money for the cash out and some cash on hand for my iPhone 13 Pro
  • Poco F3 (sold to my friend for 1k loss)
  • Poco X3 Pro (with my cousin James)
  • Poco X3 GT (with my brother in Cebu)
  • iPhone 13 Pro 256GB (my current phone)
  • M1 Mac Mini (my current work computer)
  • Xiaomi Mi 11 Lite 5G NE (my current Android phone)
  • Apple Watch Series 7 (my motivation to go out and jog/run/walk/whatever)
  • Panasonic Refrigerator (my first home appliance purchase that really made sense?)
  • Xiaomi P1 TV 43″ (my primary work monitor)

NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION

  • Daily Walk (bein doing this fairly consistently)
  • Daily Journaling (have been doing this quite sporadically
  • Read 1 book per month √
  • Listen to 1 book per month √
  • Massively reduce food delivery expenses – good luck!
  • Finish 3 games – one down!
  • Start a business
  • Massively reduce drinking – good luck on this one too
  • Healthy living – in the plans
  • Start eCommerce Site – in the plans
  • Start video editing gig – put on hold temporarily

OH YEAH, BACK TO MY BIRTHDAY AND SOME MORE SANE THOUGHTS

I have spent quite a bit of money left and right. Something more productive and useful than others. I am just happy that I’ve been able to continuously pay the bills that are coming my way while also adding a bit of my luho into it every now and then. There is still not much in terms of savings, and I definitely need to work on that. But hopefully, my change in title will come with a bit of a financial boost as well to help me out. 😉

On top of the new year’s resolution, I hope that I can find a better balance in terms of work and leisure. I need to be more productive and I also feel like I need to destress. I can’t feel both and continue to be stuck in this limbo. Something has to give eventually. Hopefully, I will find my peace soon. Not just peace of mind due to all the overthinking that I have become an expert at, but also at peace with myself and where I’m at. And please, perhaps also at peace with the never ending ringing in my ear. (Thanks, Tinnitus. For being there. Always)

But yes. This birthday is so much more different than others.

There is no fanfare, there are no friends.

Sometimes I question if I have any. Sure, there is my team and I don’t mean to take anything away from my team or the people I am close with in the company — but you know, friends, like people that I have known for more than just 2 years are mostly all out of the picture now. May that be my fault, circumstance, or fate. I want to feel a bit of anger, thinking that some are only there when I’m needed, but I’ll bite my tongue and hold on to that thought instead of unleashing my fury of pity yammering.

At any rate.

Here we are. Here I am. Turning a year older, trying to bounce back. Continuing my journey forward, one step at a time.

Even if this year, it felt like I have taken two steps back.


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