Processing why I just can’t write anymore

It’s been ages since I’ve had any kind of writing streak going. I just can’t find the focus or motivation to pull through a writing session at all anymore. I mean, I know that the content that yours truly produced before wasn’t anything to write home about – but still.. At least, I managed to write consistently for some time.

And like I said, this hasn’t been the case for quite some time now.

Yet here I am now, in the middle of this coronavirus pandemic that is ravaging the whole world… trying to pour out a few thoughts of mine. (I guess this is what home quarantine can do to you!)

First to consider why I’m experiencing this could boil down to any of the following or a combination of any of the following:

• I am not confident in my writing
  • why should I even try hard?
  • why do I even pretend anyone cares about my writing?
  • is there even a benefit to this?
• My mind is always stuffed with a lot of things
  • what should I write about?
  • actually, there’s so much I want to share!
  • but no Georg Kevin, your writing sucks!
  • seriously though, there’s just so much noise!
• My daily routine doesn’t allow time for it
  • I am enjoying games too much
  • My work gets in my way
  • I feel sleepy whenever I actually have a spare minute to write

I told myself, fuck it. I’ll just write. Even if the only reader on this blog will be my girlfriend. Writing used to be an integral part of me. Indeed my writings sucked in the past… but they always allowed me to escape whatever I have been dealing with for a moment. It allowed me to process what is happening in my life. It allowed me to go over my day to day activities at a pace that I can properly keep a record of everything.

And most importantly, I believe writing kept me sane back then.

I’m actually feeling resistance to continue writing just now. But, I guess I have to persevere through it. At any rate, I do hope that I can come up with a plan to consistently write. I know there are benefits down the line if I keep this as a pastime of mine – may that be even just writing a journal or writing something more consistent and interesting on one of my more prominent websites. We’ll see about that.

For now, I’ll just keep this experiment here. For now, I’ll just slowly nurture this former writer in me to full.